| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2007|04:37 pm] |
gusto ko lang sabihin nakita ko si kitche nadal kanina sa Big W sa men's department.
...at yung bodyguard niya nung Saturday ay nakakatakot na kalbo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|02:05 pm] |
sayang. sayang na sayang. at ako rin ang may kasalanan kung baket sayang. sinayang. sobrang sinayang.
oo, nasa huli ang pagsisisi. |
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| ikaw pa rin. ikaw pa rin. |
[Nov. 13th, 2006|09:37 am] |
i don't want to love you anymore. you don't want to love me anymore. you don't want me to love you anymore. but why does it seem i'm still in love with you? i still love you. i can't be. i shouldn't be. but i am. and i do.
why won't you go away?
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2006|11:46 am] |
| [ | i am |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | sounds |
| | Hellbender - Luntian | ] |
disappointment #5: wala kang sariling kusa. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2006|06:14 pm] |
| [ | i am |
| |  blank | ] |
So I'm going to complain/whinge/bitch/rant. Mainly whinge. On the way home, in the car, Ramon and Jan were talking about their girlfriends and anniversaries and presents and going out. Jan's broke and it's his 4th year with Michelle.
Jan is stressing out because he doesn't know what to give Michelle, after all the jewellery and flowers and chocolates and lovey-dovey stuff (okay, those are the things I know) he's given her before. I remember, Jan got Mich this heart necklace. I think he's given her another necklace ever since and earings and a bracelet for birthdays and anniversaries. If I heard Jan correctly (he was driving, the stereo was on, I was on the backseat), he's considering a necklace for this anniv because "she can't seem to find the right one" for a particular outfit. I have another friend like that-- gives jewellery to his girlfriends.. and then they break up with him (haha). I remember, for my 18th birthday, the boys got me a pretty bracelet.
Ramon got Lucy a watch that he had engraved. He was really happy and excited about it. I think I'll check Luc's wrist next time I see her. Then, he was saying something about a hotel, how he wanted to get the other place for Lucy's 21st, but settled for The Meriton instead.
Ramon and Lucy, from observation, have the same relationship that I had with a particular ex-boyfriend: Ramon takes Lucy shopping; they eat at the foodcourt, eat here, eat there, eat this, eat that; buy thoughtful, sometimes expensive, sometimes cheap presents.. no issue with money-- anything for him/her ("issue" in the sense that it doesn't matter how expensive it is or how cheap it is or even though i don't have money because I didn't work last week. It didn't matter).
We drop off Ramon at Blacktown Station because he's going to Parramatta with Lucy. I asked Jan what he and Michelle does when they're together and he says something that is sooo true: everywhere we go, it's 'eating' that we worry about-- we get to Westfield, we eat first. We go to the beach and Michelle asks what we're going to eat. Of course we're going to have fish and chips, but we tend to stress or worry when. Haha. Tell me you can relate! Going out, you're going to have to eat. It revolves around eating. Food's good.
So besides eating, what do you do?
Oh, we ice skate, watch dvd's at my place, go for a drive. Mainly Wollonggong, just enjoying the view.
As Jan and I were talking about this, I couldn't help thinking that Felix and I don't do anything. While my friends treat their girlfriends out to "eat" and give jewellery and chocolates and flowers and take them shopping, I get a boyfriend who refuses to get a haircut (and has grown hair just like my ex-boyfriend) and shaves only so that he looks neat for work. I get to wait until 10pm only to watch him slowly fall asleep on the couch. I get to eat at second-hand restaurants (restaurants that he has taken his ex's before). I get to eat kebab for dinner (or some other meaty food. fyi, i'm not a big meat eater). I've memorised that it takes a 10-12 minute drive on the M4 before the parramatta exit and another 9 minutes from Sound Master at Woodville Rd to his place. I get text message greetings for our monthly's. I've managed to make a "hole" on the sofa in front of the tv. I've discovered my love for watching tv and movies alone at night. I've learned how to stop shopping. I've let go of the importance of photographs for memories. I found plenty of time to dream to go to different places and do so many things.
So is it okay that I'm just a teeny-weeny bit complaining? Sometimes, it's okay, but really, I think I just got used to it already that it doesn't matter anymore. Maybe I just miss my fun and happy self.
I'm going out tomorrow. By myself.
ps. JOHN MAYER IS COMING TO SYDNEY. I MUST WATCH HIM. Want to come? |
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| Crocs Rule! |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|07:32 pm] |
| [ | i am |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | sounds |
| | tv | ] |
Mate, we'll miss you. Rest in peace, Steve Irwin. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|07:01 pm] |
| [ | i am |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | sounds |
| | Futurama | ] |
Any suggestions for a GOOD beach resort?
Luzon and Visayas only, please.
PLEASE. Provide ninyo na rin yung website address, kung meron. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|08:55 pm] |
| [ | i am |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | sounds |
| | bic runga - roll into one | ] |
  i love your "come hither" (and can also be "i'm so sleepy") eyes.
*sighs* |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2006|09:44 am] |
| [ | i am |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | sounds |
| | Comfortable - John Mayer | ] |
because i miss posting pictures..
 this was taken as a test shot for my assignment, back in April, 2006. haha! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|08:30 pm] |
| [ | sounds |
| | Huling El Bimbo | ] |
WANTED: FRIEND.
Seriously.
I will love you. I will talk to you. I will listen to you. I will tell you off. I will hang out with you. I will call you. I will not talk to you. I will not listen to you. I will shop with you. I will watch movies with you. I will check out girls and guys with you. We will buy shoes together. We will set to meet at 10am but I will arrive at 10:30 and you, at 11. I will ask you if my bum looks big and/or sticks out in this and will not get mad if you say it does (because I have a flat bottom). We will have one hundred or more pictures a month. I will ask you how your mum and dad are. I will ask about your family. You can eat with mine. We can eat a lot. We can diet together. We can listen to music together. We can bitch about how this guy got your girl or this girl got your guy. We can laugh. We can cry. We can burp. We can run, walk, catch the bus, the train, ferry. I can't drive. I want to care for someone besides my boyfriend. I need to hear other people. I need to talk to other people. I need you. I want someone I can learn things from. I need/want someone to do all sorts of activities with.
I NEED A FRIEND. |
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| The Gray Matter |
[Jun. 30th, 2006|02:59 am] |
It's funny how the people you saw as "close friends" don't turn out as "real friends".
At first you're shy. You are introduced to them by your boyfriend. They appear friendly. Very welcoming. You're still shy though, because you're not sure how they are. Being someone that finds it difficult to trust another, you kind of observe them, see how they work-- how they talk to each other, how they treat each other, how they react to jokes, even how they eat. They seem harmless and trustworthy. They're a good bunch! Eventually, you become part of the group and feel at home. Sometimes, though, you feel that they only treat you that way because you're the girlfriend of their friend. But, your boyfriend insists that they are your friends, too and not just his girlfriend. You are their friend.
You try and see it that way. Turns out, he is right. We're a bunch of friends! Heck, they treat you like one of the boys. It's a rare moment that they treat you a girly-girl. You always have a good time together whether you are eating, watching movies, driving, grocery shopping, cooking. You share stories, ideas, thoughts. Even secrets! You're finally convinced you have some sort of connection with each and every single one of them. You look up to them. You treat them as your closest friends (actually, your only friends. You don't have many friends). You see them as your buddies, like your brothers. You're all family.
Then your calls become unanswered. When they do answer the call, they sound disappointed it's you. They don't know what to say. They don't really want to talk to you. They end up selling you tickets. When really, you just wanted to say, "hi! I miss you, friend!" You ask a few questions and they don't answer-- and when they do answer, it's so obvious they're making it up. When you came over for a visit, you try to hug your "friend": he was so uncomfortable to hug you back (I missed you, damn it!) and sort of gives you a pat on the back, instead. They don't tell you good news. Even worse, they don't inform you of the bad ones! And that's when it really hurts. That's where it kind of hits you: you are just an ex-girlfriend.
To this day, you still think about those friends. You miss them. You still talk about them and tell stories to them to your other friends. Then, they ask you how those friends of yours are doing. You don't have an answer. You just sit there, wondering, yourself. Then, you remember, if one those "friends" were listening, you'll just be embarrassed. Because really, you were just the girlfriend. Oh, I mean, an ex-girlfriend. |
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| la la lalalalaaaa... |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|05:05 pm] |
| [ | i am |
| | depressed | ] |
- Miss ko na ang Pilipinas.
- Miss ko na ang umaga sa Cavite.
- Miss ko na ang 4am, magisa, sa kwarto ni Lola sa Cavite.
- Miss ko na ang lunch na 11am sa Cavite.
- Miss ko na ang tahong.
- Miss ko na ang mga aso na takot ako.
- Miss ko na yung simba dun sa malapit sa bahay ni Lola at ni l-laser pointer ni Father yung powerpoint presentation nya na may drumrolls pa at nag sh-shake yung image.
- Miss ko na yung pare dun sa Cavite na hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabe kase sobrang lalim ng tagalog.
- Miss ko na ang mga pinsan ko, kahit na hindi naman talaga kami naguusap.
- Miss ko na maghanap ng yema at wala akong makita kahit na saan ako magtanong or magpunta.
- Miss ko na yung siksikan sa kotse. At last!! Hindi lang 5 people ang umuupo sa 5-seater na kotse. Basta masara ang pinto, ayuzz!
- Miss ko na umupo sa front seat at mauntog sa pinto dahil ang tangkad ko.
- Miss ko na yung text na "can't go out today. colour coding ako"
- Miss ko na ang avenetto. AVENETO A VENNETO A VENETTO AVENNETO AVENNETTO. BASTA!!! I WANT PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!
- Miss ko na ang Flaming Wings kase napanaginipan ko last night.
- Miss ko na ang mga kagat ng lamok sa Batibot. Okay, I don't miss it, but I remember I cried because I had so much.
- Miss ko na ang Batibot.
- Miss ko na ang matulog ng 5am, 6am or later.
- Miss ko na ang cold showers. Or tabo ligo.
- Miss ko na ang kumain ng lunch ng 2pm and will probably be my first and last proper meal for the day.
- Miss ko na ang Gourmet's Pallete.
- Miss ko na ang mga Garlic Sauce that gives me really bad stomach aches that leaves me writhing in pain, yet I still use at least half a bottle of it.
- Miss ko na ang mga "first shot" ko. Gusto ko lang ako ang first shot, kase ayoko malasing.
- Miss ko na ang malulubak na kalye.
- Miss ko na tignan ako ng mga tao head to toe na parang may mali sa itsura ko. Hanggang ngayon, iniisip ko pa rin kung ano kaya ang iniisip nila kung habang tumitingin.
- Miss ko na isa-isahin ang mga shoe store at itanong "miss, anong largest size ninyo?" and get the usual "ay.. 9 lang po, ma'am." and I'd leave na, not even look at a single shoe.
- Miss ko na mag-calculate: P699.00? So 700. Seven hundred divided by forty equals .. seventeen? eighteen? seventeen point five. Ayuzz! Mura!
- Miss ko na itanong, "P500.00? Okay ba ito? Maganda naman diba? Five hundred.. mura ba yun?"
- I miss that popcorn. Holy Kettle Corn ba yun? Basta maalat na matamis na ewan. Masarap.
- Miss ko na yung feeling excited.
- Miss ko na yung "yesss!! magkikita na kami!!!!" feeling.
- Miss ko na ang amoy ng Pilipinas.
- Miss ko na ang KFC ng Pilipinas.
- Miss ko na, na kahit madaling araw na, maraming marami ka pa rin magagawa at mapupuntahan.
- Miss ko na ang musika. Miss na miss ko na!
- Miss ko na ang mga dj sa radyo. Hindi ako sanay sa accent nila.
- Miss ko na yung mga matataray na saleslady.
- Miss ko na yung mag-order in english and put a bit of an accent.
- I miss going out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I miss just living on my own, with little money, not sure how far it'll take me.
- I miss bumping into old friends, classmates, relatives (yes, I know. Sometimes, I don't even recognise them). It's a good feeling. Kind of funny sometimes. Even funnier when they give you a certain look. Yung parang "anong nangyare sa iyo?!" or "wowww" or basta wide-eyed.
- Miss ko na yung di mo alam kung anong kakainin mo ng araw na yun-- bahala na. Then, you'll just completely forget to eat.
- I miss Mr Chips.
- I miss bread stick. It's so cheap.
- I miss Cheese Burst ng Royal Carribean Jamaican Patties.
- I miss aveneto pa rin.
- I miss Bench underwear and trying to find my size.
- I miss trying shirts/tops, just to make sure they're long enough.
- I miss making kulit to everyone to take me to X place to see X band play.
- I miss texts from someone at 3 or 4am asking me to come out and play... but after a few hours pa, kase matutulog muna siya.
- I miss trying to meet up with everyone.
- Miss ko na ang hangin.
- Miss ko na mapanood ang pagsikat ng araw sa umaga.
- Miss ko na kumain ng dinner-breakfast-lunch ng dawn.
- Miss ko na pumunta ng Foodlane ng 3am para bumili ng beer.
- Miss ko na pumunta sa mga grocery stores or sari-sari store and buy a bit of everything to try out.
- I miss not missing internet or using the computer.
- I miss having to travel from A to B to C and back to B and then to D in a matter of 2 days.
- I miss sleeping at 6am to get up at 7am and wait outside my friend's house for the driver to pick me up to take me back to Cavite.
- I miss my Lola's house.
- I miss the get-to-gethers at Cavite. So much food! So much family I don't know!
- I miss having to organise where I'll be sleeping that night or the next night or the night after that. I miss planning appointments/dates for the week and planning them so that I'm somewhere every day/night.
- I miss living on only a few pairs of shirts, pants and underwear.. and having to go back to MHFDS, Las Pinas or Cavite to get new clothes or even the mall, to buy new clothes to wear.
- I miss Pilipins traffic.
- I miss Pilipins. |
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| 2006-06-15 |
[Jun. 18th, 2006|04:03 am] |
Felix had this huge smile on his face. Okay, he's happy. That's good. About a minute later, I noticed he still had that grin on his face. It started to annoy me.
Vianca: What is it?
Felix: (So cheerful and all smiley faced) You know.. I'm just happy!
Vianca: You look pretty happy for someone whose birthday isn't today (my English teacher would kill me for this poor grammar)..
Felix: Why, what's wrong with that? I'm just happy because it's your birthday!
Vianca: Ganun? Eh baket ka nakiki-share ng happiness ko??!!
Felix: Wala.. gusto ko lang!!
He was smiling all the way home.
( Read more... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2006|01:15 am] |
| [ | i am |
| | sad | ] |
Naka "Public" pala noh? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|10:25 am] |
| [ | i am |
| |  angry | ] |
| Guilt | What is yours? | Explain yourself | | Culinary: | dips. condiments. kahit anong sawsawan. |
hotdog kaylangan may bbq sauce, may ketchup, may mustard. chicken nuggets: bbq sauce, mayo, ufc tamis anghang, ketchup, sour cream (yes, i do that), mang tomas, sweet & sour, mustard, vinegar, ranch dressing, caesar dressing, salsa at kahit ano pa. just not peanut butter. |
| Literary: | i wish i read more.. | i don't think i read that much. kaya yata bumobobo na ako eh. | | Audiovisual: | Goonies DVD | I've watched it for the nth time last night. |
| Musical: | right now? APO Hiking Society. | My mum's playlist. I like this better than her last one which was Lionel Ritchie. |
| Celebrity: | Polo Ravales | I swear ang hot nya!!! First time ko sya napanood was a movie with Sunshine Dizon, Kim de los Santos and Antoinette Taus. He had braces and was a bit chubby. But I swear, he's so yummm. Ang putiiiii and hotttt and gwapooo. |
Now I tag:-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kalawakankitty cloudyfields daremortem and shdwbxr
to complete this same Quiz, Its HERE. |
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| Pictures!! weeeee!! |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|02:02 am] |
Oh. I promised to post a picture on the next post, but I forgot. ehehe.. And since I'm such a lazy arse, I'm going to post the pictures that have already been resized, that's currently on my Desktop.. let's see how many I'll have...
 19/03/06. Dinner for my bestfriend, Indri's birthday. I was trying to go down a bit so I won't look so tall. hehe  24/12/05. Around 1am? Ryan lovegrocery and I at Saguijo. I think I've posted this before. Tough. |
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| Pulang lobo. |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|01:49 am] |
Drama hits ba? Shut up, brain. Shut up, heart. Shut up, Vianca.
Isa lang paulit-ulit sa utak ko kanina: Ayoko na mag-english. Nge. Oo, totoo yan iniisip ko kanina, pero ito yung talagang talagang talaga: Sino kaya ang magbibigay sa akin ng 99 red balloons, at kelan? Okay, dalawa yan. Pero.. Pareho lang halos, diba? So isa na rin lang yan.
Ang babaw no? 99 red balloons. Wala lang. hindi ko na matandaan kung kelan ko naisip o naramdaman yan. Pero gusto ko talaga yun. Naaalala ko pa, naikwento ko na "99 red balloons! Yun!! Kung sino magbigay sa akin nyan, yun ang lalakeng papakasalan ko!!"
Mas lalong bumabaw ba?
Ganun eh. 'Di ko nga alam anong gagawin ko pagtapos sa mga lobo. Papaliparin ko, papakawalan ko ba? Naisip ko na yan eh. Tititigan ko ng matagal hangga't kaya, hangga't meron pang nakikita.
Gusto ko lang atang tumingin sa langit kaya ko gusto pakawalan. Para may ibang kulay pang makikita maliban sa blue at white at yellow. Para polka-dot skies.
Pero hindi ko ata magagawang pakawalan yung mga lobo. Masyadong importante, masyadong maganda. Gusto ko na hawak ko lahat. Gusto kong naglalakad na maraming hawak na lobo. Lobong pula. Gusto ko, may mga hawak akong mga lobo, habang nakatingin sa langit.
Baket ganun? Ngayon ko lang na-realise, na yung mga lobo pala ay mga dinadamdam ko; mga naiisip kong sakit at problema; mga alam kong mga naranasan ko na at ayaw bitawan.. kaya ko pala gustong hawakan habang nakatingin sa langit. Ayun. Titingin ako sa langit para lang managinip, para mag-isip, habang hawak-hawak pa rin ang mga lobong problema at dinadamdam. Tama nga na pakawalan ko na. Tama nga na bitawan ko na.
Dito naman papasok yung pag-hintay at paghanap ko ng lalakeng magbibigay sa akin ng mga lobo'ng iyan: na harapin ko na ang mga problema at mga dinadamdam ko, dahil "tama na yan!" dapat. Hindi na dapat ganyan. Bitawan na dapat at palipasin na. Dahil andito na ako. Mag tiwala ka sa akin. Wag kang mag-alala, aalagaan kita. Wag kang mag-alala, hindi kita sasaktan. Wag kang mag-alala, kayang-kaya mo. Wag kang matakot, wag kang magpigil.
Kung sakaling dumating ang panahon na mabigyan ako ng siyamnaput-siyam na pulang lobo, ano kaya magiging reaction ko:
- sa sobrang saya, na sa wakas, nangyare na, madali ko lang mapapakawalan? Vulnerable, ika ng iba.
- matagal ko ring hahawakan at pagiisipan?
- isa-isa kong papakawalan?
Hindi mga pulang lobo ang kaylangan mo, Vianca. Tiwala lang, ata. |
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| Blah blah blah |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|02:01 pm] |
Drama Hits No More
When I got up this morning, I decided, I shall not post any more drama chuva on lj. How sad that lj was the first thing on my mind this morning.
edit: 02:19am 06/06/06
Food
Ugh. I saw a jar of pickled green mangoes at the asian store on the weekend and wanted it sooo much. I was happy to go to work this morning because I will be getting paid. I was already planning to buy it after work. Naglalaway na talaga ako. Na-imagine ko na yung bagoong. Yung sili. Yung patis. *Laway* So ayun, binili ko nga at madali kong binuksan yung garapon. Isasawsaw ko na dapat sa bagoong, pero I thought I'd try it by itself first.. see if it were maasim. IT WASN'T. IT WAS AWFUL. KADIRE. MALAMBOT NA MATUBIG NA KADIRE. KADIRE. Like, EWWWWWWWWWWW..nakakasuka kadire!! Lasang Secon na super dissolved sa water. hahaha. Remember Secon? Anyway, I don't even remember if it's spelled like that. Anyway ulit, the end na yan. Sayang yung pag-gutom ko sa sarili ko para sa manggang yun.. tapos di naman pala masarap. Nakaka-inis.
Ah.. bumili rin pala ako ng instant noodles, kase I was craving for that as well. I bought a 5pack na Lucky Me ata yun. I got one for Felix as well. Ayun, I want to eat it right now. Yes, at 02:30am!! But i'm too lazy to cook it. I've been having weird cravings lately.. I want to eat all sorts of things I don't usually eat or have missed eating. Haaayy.. I will be extra taba this winter.
Nakakainis Ngayon Ko Lang Nakita
---
PJs at DJs for starters
David Jones's half-yearly clearance sale is on, all categories, all stores, and includes current winter stock. Save 40 per cent on a range of Simone Perele lingerie; save 50 per cent or more on women's wear from Paul Smith, Calvin Klein and others. Save 30 per cent on men's undies from Ian Thorpe, Oroton, Trent Nathan, Ted Baker, et al.
Sale on until July 2 or until stocks last.
---
Ehhh!! I can't shop anymorrrreeee.. Nakakainissss!! Look oh!!!! 50% off Paul Smith. Bloody hell. Tapos yung others?! SHIT. Yan ang maganda eh.. all the restttttt!!! WAAAAHHH.. I bet they have all the shoes on sale, too. Crazy!! Sana millionaire nalang ako. Kahit ten-thousand-aire lang, okay na.
I don't want to go near a DJ's nga eh, kase alam ko, mapapabili ako ehhhhh...tapos sabay nabasa ko itoooooooo. Hmm.. pero baka it's a sign, diba? Maybe Someone's telling me to treat myself a little for my birthday? Pero baket wala akong pera? Hindi sign yan. Nangiinis lang. Hahahahaha
My neck's hurting. I'll go lie down na. It's 2:45am. Pictures on the next post. |
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